I love Dave Matthews. Please help. No matter what else I do in my life that might someday render me cool and admired: sailing around the world, publishing my own book series, tying an entire orchard of cherry stems with my tongue ... I am doomed to a life of everpresent, just below the surface mockery for my geek-Matthews love. Everyday. I have perma-dork.
I can't help it. I know I'm only hurting myself. Since I moved here, I've been working like an ass-kissing dog to get the good neighbor treatment from my local coffee house folks. I come in every day, buy coffee, chat them up, and get a big nada in return ... not even the recognition of what my "regular" order is. Black coffee (nothing froofy) by the way, is the correct answer that four months of daily visitation has not taught the people who will not be my coffee buddies. And, every day, I say something nice anyway. I even yelp.com kissed their butt, where my avatar is a picture of Rico ... who also comes to their little cool kid hangout every single day. Nothing.
So, last week, realizing it would cost me any chance of getting accepted, ever, but really not caring anymore, I told Coffee Dude Number 3, "You know. You look like a young Dave Matthews." He looked at me like I had said, "You know. You look like a child molester." I filled the silence by adding, "I like Dave Matthews." What would you say? He said, "Gross." And, as I turned to leave, I saw Coffee Dudes Numbers 1 & 2 come from around the corner to laugh at him. "Dude, you TOTALLY look like Dave Matthews."
I destroy lives.
BTW, Dave's birthday was last Wednesday. He turned 41. Why do I know that? What smart thoughts and big words should be occupying the brain space that holds Dave's birthday, age, and the all the words to "Where are you going?"
